I’ve been writing and rewriting this blog post in my head for sometime now. That is not to say it will be perfect by any stretch. It is more to say that I’ve found it difficult to articulate and find the nuances in a process that has been unfolding for quite some time. That is, the process of becoming open and confident in being unapologetically me.
Authenticity is a real buzz word these days, or at least in my life. But, I think it is for good reason. As a society I feel that we are tired of being and/or pretending to be these wrapped up perfect packages; we are craving more real life, more authenticity. At first I had trepidation of sharing this process without having it more figured out but eff that, we are all here for it.
And so, a vulnerability post, a peek inside my head. There is nothing curated here, only a human navigating life to the best of her ability. This blog is for you to see we are each on our own journey no matter how it appears from the outside.
This blog is also for me. Getting clear and declaring my truth, being unapologetically me while also giving myself the space to share. Because apparently I like to talk/write more than I ever realized, who knew?!
Where to start…
If I’m being really honest this has been unfolding since my early twenties. But, more recently over the last year, with heightened anticipation.
After a very unexpected spiritual awakening a little over a year ago, where Archangel Michael came to me in a vision (at the time I had no clue who or what he was only that I knew I needed to listen) I knew the time to go deeper into my own spiritual path was upon me. Even though at the time I had zero expectation or knowing of what that may be, I did know it was time to listen to my call within. It was time to honour my own spiritual path.
These words to come are very likely not shocking, especially if you’ve been following me for a while. However, to me they are filled with change and quite frankly it is terrifying even when it’s not shocking.
For me, this post is to be safe and OK with the notion of rejection and abandonment, which are some of my deepest wounds and shadows. It is a way for me to own my wounds and fears.
Rejection and abandonment are terrifying because we all want to be loved and accepted; it’s human nature. But, I can’t stay small in order to make others comfortable. Nor can I deny you the option from having your own opinion. Potentially this may not make you uncomfortable, I can’t decide that for you.
I do know there will be ‘rejection’ though. I have already been seeing it for months as I’ve been losing dozens upon dozens of followers daily. As fast as they come in, others leave. And I get it, I even respect it but it still stings a bit.
If you started following me for hormone and gut based advice and now I mostly speak about intuition and energy that may not be your jam.
From there to here
Marrow Holistic Health wasn’t born under the guise of wanting to be intuitive but being too afraid to share it, no. As I shared above, the visitation from an Archangel came after years of not listening and the Universe having to smack me upside the head. Oops.
I originally started Marrow with joy and excitement in my heart. I saw an opportunity to help women I cared about. There is so much unnecessary suffering because of lack of education and awareness of their own body.
It wasn’t their fault, we come from a broken system. We aren’t taught that there are different phases in our menstrual cycle or that gut health is the backbone to overall health, if I can sum it up in one sentence.
Marrow was a way to offer a different perspective, to educate women in getting reacquainted with their body’s in a real down to earth way through nutrition and lifestyle. I still firmly believe and stand behind these beliefs.
Body and soul
After 10+ years of working in the health and wellness arena, in different aspects such as in a health food store, a yoga studio, an herb shop and as an entrepreneur, I can confidently say that health is so much more than what you put in your body. Or better yet, health is so much more than what you absorb and utilize. As a Registered Holistic Nutritionist, I was taught this but, there is more still.
The more is the energetic and spiritual realm, that is beyond our 5 senses yet makes up the fabric of us all.
I have a deep love and appreciation for the body. It allows us to be here, to be present, to move through life and to take in all the beauty and hardship of it. It allows us to grow and expand as a soul. And I know that in order for us to show up in our spiritual or inner journey we too have to be nourished, have our hormones balanced and our guts rocking because our body is an extension of our soul.
Our body is our greatest tool and barometer, our extension of Self. Our body is always speaking to us and through us, if we are willing to listen.
However, when we’re living in suffering, with symptoms, malnutrition or disease our body isn’t working at full capacity. When so much awareness and energy is going towards survival the communication our body is offering will be affected too.
Despite the importance of supporting the physical body through food, supplements and lifestyle I have learned where my greatest impact lies and that is in the spiritual realm not in the nutrition realm.
What does that mean for you?
For all my current nutrition clients, it doesn’t change a thing. I remain committed to you and your health. And bless all of my current clients who I shared this with before sharing it publically, each and every single one of them was so supportive.
However, for the time being I will not be taking on any new nutrition clients.
That is not to say I will stop nutrition forever, heck no. I am doing this to better understand within me how I can open myself to what it looks like to more fully blend these two worlds – nutrition + intuition.
What I do know is that any nutrition work moving forward will likely always include intuition. And thus, for now my intuitive practice is gaining all my attention. I believe it is both for my best and highest good as well as the collective at large. And so, I heed the call.
I can’t deny what I am seeing, that energy is the start of all physical manifestations; that we can only go so far in purely physical symptoms.
That is not to dismiss anyone’s physical pains as suffering. The opposite of that, I want you to get to the root of why you have this relationship to food, why you can’t show up for yourself, why you keep having the same romantic patterns, why you continue to give your power away.
There is so much more to explore than food, supplements and lifestyle recommendations.
Which brings us here…
Here I am despite the fears, pushing through the discomfort and the resistance to say out loud.. or in a blog post, that I am an Intuitive Channel.
Of course I am, I’ve been declaring it for some time now, again this is not news. I’ve been working with clients in my intuitive gifts for almost a year now. The difference here is I am stepping back from taking on any new nutrition clients right now and refocusing my intention with Marrow Holistic Health to better reflect my authenticity and soul’s higher calling as an Intuitive Channel.
This is significant for me because I’ve found it to be a lot easier to say that I am a Registered Holistic Nutritionist (RHN) than it is to say, I am an Intuitive Channel. An RHN is someone who helps people on a physical level. A job title that everyone can relate and appreciate, a title that is backed by science and an understanding of the body.
This created safety for me.
Whereas, an Intuitive Channel, is someone who works with non-physical energy, relaying unseen messages back to you. This is where the fears of rejection, abandonment and of taking up space come creeping in come, when one title or identity has more societal credence over another.
I can no longer be confined to the perception of societal expectations, putting other people’s comfort first and in so doing, abandoning my own soul calling. Because ultimately it comes down to perceive or potential abandonment vs abandonment of Self and I choose me.
I can no longer outsource my safety. Safety for me now Is knowing my truth and embodying it fully. It’s about not abandoning myself in order to keep others comfortable.
It’s time to choose me and let my light shine bright. It’s time to declare it to the Universe, and be unapologetically me.
Why this long blog post to share what is likely obvious to so many already? I ask you, why can’t I show my progress?
Why do I have to make it all crisp, clean and sterile? I want to show that even joyous choices, choices that our souls are calling for can still contain discomfort. I’m sharing this to show that in resistance and momentary discomfort there is growth. and to push through it. I want to normalize LIFE.
If clients or brands or whoever can’t see the joy, the resourcefulness, the courage the REAL live person behind Marrow Holistic Health then well, maybe we shouldn’t be working together anyways.
Another option could have been to just roll right through, not mention anything to anyone, but that isn’t liberating either. I’m here to declare it all and hopefully inspire you to follow your own authenticity, in being unapologetically you.
And so I declare it.
I am an Intuitive Channel, I have telepathic conversations with light beings (aliens). Seeing and feeling your soul and all of its potential is a gift of mine. I can sense where you have blocked energy in your body, what that blockage is and how to guide you back to your power. As a psychic medium I can connect with passed loved ones, the 2 and 4 legged loved ones. I can feel beliefs that are limiting your personal growth. Using reiki I can also provide an energetic clearing and activation if it’s applicable.
I am here as a witness and guide to you coming back home, home to your truth and power.
Honouring my most aligned Self
Nutrition will always be a part of my work. I will continue to call myself an RHN because I can’t unknow (nor would I want to) all the beautiful messages the physical body offers. It offers me an unique perspective when working with the body energetically and intuitively. But I also know there is much deeper work to be doing, that I have the capability to facilitate.
So here we go.
Baring my heart, the parts of me that I feel are in my highest alignment, is both an ecstasy high but also super vulnerable. Opening up to vulnerability creates potential for pain and hurt but, more importantly it opens the heart to feel more joy, love, bliss and harmony. It opens the heart to allow more creativity and ease. It allows what I am calling in space to do so.
Breaking open, whether through a break up, a change in identity, a shift in perspective or a move, is the junction of madness and growth, bliss and fear, excitement and nerves. It is growth.
It’s time to grow. It’s time to honour my calling despite my fears. It is time to take up space. Here’s to transparency, vulnerability and getting liberated in my truth.
If you started following me from my nutrition days and you’re still here, thank you.
If you’re new here, thank you and welcome!
Be liberated in your own truth even when it’s uncomfortable. It is so worth it.
I look forward to working with you in the following capacities for the foreseeable future: Intuitive Readings, Channeled Chakra Balancing and in group sessions with Collective Meditation & Belief Clearings.
Love you, mean it.